what doth life?

what doth life, you ask?

probably nothing.

so,

my girlfriend of one year recently left me. since then, she hasn’t made any contact, no explanation as to why she left me (no, I was not abusive), and I mean, what’s wrong with trying to know why someone you loved so much, and admit you still do, left you as quickly as a few messages? I’ve been in a deep bout of depression, not unusual as I have CD, but this time, I feel disconnected and alone and as if I have no future with much of anything besides a 9-5 and a computer. I’m terrifyed, scared, anxious, nervous, sad, petty, so many bad feelings, all at once. I ask you, people of Tumblr, as I don’t ask much, do you have any advice? I know things will be better, but any advice on how to cope during the ‘mourning’ period? Thank you for reading this, and I hope you have a good and safe day.

I don’t like myself very much.

I know no one reads my Tumblr anymore,

but, recently, I’ve been really depressed. Actually, since I quit using, and now I face a dilemma, a conflict going inside a beautiful soul, the same conflict I am oh-too-familiar with. I can handle my depression, just fine, but stressful experiences like this set it off, badly. I’m horrified of losing my only true source of happiness, and I know, for a fact, that will be my only source of bliss I’ll ever find. That source has been dwindling, struggling, and it absolutely breaks my heart knowing that. I know this is all so cliché, but, please, listen to me on this one. All of my old high school friends, all of my acquaintances, I know when you go through my Tumblr, it seems like a joke. But this isn’t. I cannot lose this spring of ‘warm milk and honey’. I simply can’t. And with my depression, it’s going to be so so hard to accomplish this, due to its growth because of this circumstance.

So, friends, enemies, anyone, please listen and help. I’m terrified, I’m already living in a depressive world, but with the source gone or manipulated, I don’t know what my world will look like.

I’m just pretty horrendously anxious, and the root run deep.

oh yeah, I have a tumblr!

oh hai

I don’t think I’ll ever be anything significant.

I don’t care about myself, just the others I could ‘help’. but, alas, I’m on a ditch.

I feel like everything I do just shows how much of an asshole I am.

I feel as if things are slowly falling apart.

fuck me.

would any of you miss me in the physical world?

HEY GUYS I AM DUMB

I can’t even watch porn anymore without laughing

WELCOME TO MY DINGERIDOO